48 Comments

I cannot believe you told me about the Nepali plane crash video and then this happened. Maybe related to your heart sitch!

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Have I ever told you I was once on a plane from Athens to NY, when the pilot announced there could be bomb on it and we had to make an emergency landing? 50 minutes went by between the moment of that announcement and when we thought again, "Okay, we're going to live." I was 24 at the time and I remember the thoughts I had during those 50 minutes. I wonder, though wish not to find out, how the thoughts I would have at 43 would differ. Perhaps not by much. You write, "When death is closer to you, a very large percentage of moral philosophy and advice simply stops resonating." But how close is close and what makes death actually feel close? 45 minutes of uncertainty or a conclusive medical prognosis? Both Kubrick and Stevens are saying the same thing, which I think is that man must not come to terms with his mortality by coming to terms with his mortality. I agree with that sentiment, but I don't see it as describing a state of mind, which is easily manipulated by temporal conditions, but a state of being. Death is personal and part of its tragedy is that it cannot be but. But existence can transcend the personal and there we have a choice--sort of.

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Good stuff about the sacrifices inherent in being an eccentric and Bohemian. As someone who took that deal himself, I'm concerned for people who don't seem to understand the ante for the game they're signing up to play.

Also nice to see Popper's name come up!

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It’s very strange that people don’t know anymore what it costs!!! We all knew, I thought! I was a musician into my 20s, and perhaps I was just lucky to work with a lot of people who had made the deal (and seemingly unanimously felt good about it).

I should do a big thing on Popper; he helped me out of some real jams!

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I was a musician into my twenties too, but owning drums doesn't work with a meandering, ascetic lifestyle. Being a journeyman cartoonist is financially cheaper and is a look that (hopefully) ripens more appealingly as I get older. The other day though I did go to Guitar Center just to flow-state on the showroom sets for a while.

I mostly know Popper through the work of others, primarily Deutsch naturally. Tried to read The Open Society and Its Enemies last year but it quickly got too hard for me to understand. I did derive some useful insights from some passages.

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I cannot believe we were both drummers. Does it mean anything?! I also got into bass and piano, but never had the ability with them that I had with drums. I also still periodically revisit that chapter; Kizzy and I play drums on cushions with drumsticks pretty often, and I still think about rhythms quite a bit.

I liked Popper’s autobiography a lot! Plenty of his work is a tick too technical for me, but I’ve scavenged a lot of gems from otherwise impenetrable books of his over the years.

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Favorite drummer/s?

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Oh man, I’ve been out of the loop for a minute, but if you’d asked me in the late 90s I’d have said: Vinnie Colaiuta was the king, and then I love β€œTain” Watts, Elvin Jones, John Bonham, Stewart Copeland, Steve Gadd, uh... that’s a start I guess! I know that’s a very dorky list!!!

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Definitely a list of drummers' drummers.

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I was going to be a bitter and frustrated creative, but decided to be angry at capitalism and empire instead. I now vacillate between relishing the comfort and joy I’ve lucked into (while learning how to decolonize my choices that continue to serve the oppressors) and overarching despair. In her memoir, Viola Davis says something about healing being better for the soul than success, and I feel like she oughta know.

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I can’t believe your irrational fear of flying is now completely rational! Damn.

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I love this Mills but I must say that to me some of the hand wringing gives off β€œThe best lack all conviction, while the worst / Are full of passionate intensity” vibes.

Also: should we doing more to fight death and old age? Seems like probably!

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Montaigne would argue we are doing too much as it is: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2023-01-25/anti-aging-techniques-taken-to-extreme-by-bryan-johnson

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Montaigne was obliged by his time to heroic philosophy; I am obliged by the current impossibility of heroic philosophy to hope my time is one of constant technological miracles.

OTOH I’d blow these sums on much better shit than this fella. Jumpsuits, weed, a massive remote property where I can raise a militia.

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As Voltaire said, man is the creature of the era he lives in.

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Cut him some slack! When I was super sick, he introduced me to a good doctor, helped somewhat. Also he helped make a cool movie about BCIs!

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt6802922/

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Humbug!

You can wax philosophical about death without becoming a fanboy.

And that guy is a hero for enduring (and paying for!) so much BS in a way that probably won’t help him much, but which might help advance the state of the art.

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He looks like a 45-year-old with a bad dye job

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So?

At least he’s not going gently into that good night like a wuss

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Chris, if I ever see you drinking a vegan juice, I swear!

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Hahahahahhaa my own feeling here is: if staying youthful incurs the scorn of women, what’s the point?!

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Bryan Johnson is boldly drinking that sludge in the rest of our stead

> He wants to have the brain, heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, tendons, teeth, skin, hair, bladder, penis and rectum of an 18-year-old.

No point tearing this guy a new asshole he already has one!

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Also, what on earth kind of juice are you drinking then?

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Yeats was right though!!! Or at least: those words resonated with me immensely. I think if we’re always somewhat at war with our natures, my battle is that I generate strong opinions and struggle to hold them as loosely as I should in the moment (and often later feel ashamed and disgusted at myself, confused by momentary confidence that evaporates after a few days; you may in fact have experienced this from me!).

One of my only regrets is that I have nothing to contribute to the fight against aging and death, which I do wish were more culturally central. I remember a friend evangelizing cryogenics to me; he said that many people met his enthusiasm with a weird insistence that β€œdeath is good, actually,” as Steve Jobs also maintained. I think that is true β€œcope”; it’s not good!!! And I hope that Calico et alia make progress on it, while I cheer from the comfort of my couch!

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If they love death so much they are welcome to it! There’s more than enough to go around.

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One day it will come down to a battle royale between the philosophers and the vegans and I know which side you and I will be standing in (though your own will surely turn against you when they catch you taking a sip of Clamato). Mills will act as referee while he vapes on the side, and will end up in a I Am Legend situation but without the zombies, and he will still not be able to decide who was right in the end.

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Fwiw possibly the caffeine but worth a check up if it recurs or you are concerned.

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Think of journalistic and philosophical avenues it'll open up - anyway, there's enough to endure which we can't address :)

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Great collection of thoughts and discussions.

I feel like I'm going to be thinking about these concepts a lot in the coming days, and fearing flying even worse forever.

re: Kubrick: I can't like him anymore now that I know how much he tortured actors.

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Oh yes, I’m very unsure about any operation that β€œmakes use of” suffering for an ostensible β€œworthwhile” aim, and the arts have been full of this forever. It’s tolerable, maybe, when an artist simply burns themselves up, even if we know the costs are still likely passed on to eg family. But with collective pursuits like film there’s a lot of darkness; Kubrick, Hitchcock, etc. I love a lot of the movies, but Lordy some of the stories are horrific.

Oh, and thank you for the kind words of course!!!

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I've done around 50 films. I'd say 2, maybe 3 were bad experiences. Even if the frequency was double that I'd still do it, but Kubrick went in knowing he was going to torture people.

This is a fantastic newsletter. I don't even recall how I found you but glad I did.

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Oh, thank you!!! Two of fifty seems like a tolerable ratio, especially for the chance to work on films. I’ve never worked on a collective creative enterprise beyond being in bands, but the startups I’ve worked in have some small overlap with other kinds of human organizations, and a certain rate of recurring pathological derangement and suffering seem somewhat par for the course. But I don’t think I’d work for someone like Kubrick or Jobs!

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I did the band thing too. That's actually how I got offered my first film role. I think the thing that makes band derangement easier to deal with than startup derangement is that in bands you can get drunk in the middle of the argument.

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