21 Comments
Feb 18Liked by David Cole, Mills Baker

As someone with a parent whose bipolar manifests in the Kanye register on a good day, this all tracks with my observations!

Feel like there’s real potential for a good stand-up bit about impostor syndrome in unglamorous jobs, like the people hired by Rent the Runway to smell the returned items and determine whether they were properly dry cleaned. “It’s too much pressure! Everyone else on the crotch sniffing team has advanced degrees. How are they trusting ME with this responsibility?”

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> But I’ve come to think that —like these groups— I’ve looked outward too much over the course of my life, and that especially anything scaled is dubious. What was needed, for me, was to sort out my relationship with myself and my flaws without society, which doesn’t know shit anyway. It was better once I realized no one out there could make me whole

Taking responsibility over yourself is a lonely affair. The gravity of those pursuing it is always going to be much weaker than those looking outward to cope.

Also don't think I didn't notice that you're a successful and well loved man. How convenient for you to try and make yourself the voice of your group.

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Feb 18Liked by David Cole, Mills Baker

Reminds me of debates about “elite capture” in social justice movements— the tendency of the most respectable, the best educated, the most privileged members of X marginalized group to become the most public & lauded spokespeople— thus kicking off a cycle of jealousy, resentment, critique, cancellation by more “median” members— and at no point during which much real change ever happens

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“Sophia has objections to this statement, I should note!” would be a good thing for them to put on my tombstone

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I'm racing my way through "Lit," Mary Karr's memoir of addiction. I just came across a section title that reminded me of this post:

"Being Who You Are Is Not a Disorder"

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I’m having a really hard time believing you were ugly in high school lol

This effect you’re describing, a kind of regression to the aesthetic mean, seems to happen on tikgram, but an individual artist would have the opportunity to profile more interesting humans, right?

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I think we talked about my family connection to these issues - it’s real! but aside from that I have a theory that society elevates those they see themselves (or would wish to see themselves) in and makes celebrities out of them. Society elevates them and lives vicariously through them; but develops a co-dependent relationship (maybe wrong word) where their admiration, vicarious living can easily turn into jealousy or resentment; so sometimes it’s actually best not to be in the camp society chooses to elevate. Like J said, society doesn’t really know shit.

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There might be exceptions. Check out, for example, the top posts of the Crippling Alcoholism subreddit. No memes, no glorifying, just people sharing their shitty experiences with those who might be able to relate.

https://old.reddit.com/r/cripplingalcoholism/top/?sort=top&t=year

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Feb 19Liked by Mills Baker

I’m not bipolar but much of what you say is in fact, imho, generalisable and rings true (particularly the references to de stigmatisation). Thanks for making me think about this and smile occasionally. The reference to Conquest is apposite imho.

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